What Options Do We Have???

Again there was a bomb blast in the seat of power in India some days back. Again some stats were updated....X number of people died and Y number of people got injured. The government appeared as clueless as always. Sweeping statements were made by our adorable politicians. Finger pointing started within half an hour of the news being flashed in news channels......... Something else  happened this time which caught my eye, family members of some of the injured heckled our adorable politicians when they decided to play a visit to the injured ones and show their heartfelt genuine concern to them....It caught my eye, precisely for one reason, people were getting pissed off with the sweeping statements made....It was the proverbial example of tall talks and short work of our adorable Indian Politicians....


As the day progressed, the stats kept on fluctuating with it being X+1 people dying....and Y+1 getting injured...As always opposition started baying for the ruling governments blood...That night, I was not able to sleep (I am an insomniac) and was thinking what all can we Indians do to stop these cowardly acts....Bingo...I got my answer (I am intelligent ;-))in a minute....We need to vote this government out and elect a new stronger one...One which will at least show some spine....make some newer statements instead of the same stale ones, like "We will ultimately win this war against terrorism" and if they do find their guts...then act against the perpetrators of these terrorist acts.....


Well what options we have....Anyone who has any remote knowledge of Indian Politics, would  know...that India has like a million, billion, trillion, gazellion different political parties....I mean parties are created...in the blink of an eye in India.....We have political parties catering to every taste, size, color, creed, cast, region, state, brand of under wear and God knows how many more options.....But primarily all of these political parties can be classified into three broad categories:

• Congress(I) + allies
• BJP + allies
• Third Front = All allies

You are all Eienstiens......so I guess ..you would have figured out....the common factor above is of course Allies :)

What are allies?? Allies are the fair weather friends...who jump a bandwagon at the drop of a heart....If you have been reading my post above...then these are the gazellion political parties...I had talked about.....Each of them think they are King Makers....even if they represent one sex of a sub-sub...caste of a sub-caste of a caste in their constituency of 1000 people.....

So what options we have...if we do vote out the Congress (I) + Allies and do elect a new government....

Congress + Allies


Confused.....because I had just said what are our alternatives if we vote out the incumbent government led by Congress and its allies......What do you expect...despite the numerous scams tainting the government, the 80 year old leading PM contenders, a not so young Rahul Baba who is yet to leave any significant mark in politics..in all probability they would still be voted back into the seat.....We Indians...we are fools...we know it.....but lets see what happens....

1. We will have some 80 year old as our PM (as Rahul Baba will be too busy suckling on to Mummy ji)
2. Bombs will continue to return to haunt us...just like monsoons each year....
3. The PM and his cronies will still declare...."We WILL win this war on terrorism"
4. Terrorists will be the happiest folks as they know...nothings gonna be done by the Indian government
5. We will continue to make ourselves fools 
6. We will continue to appear as the weakest nation in the world.....just ahead of Guinea Bissau and Burkina Faso
7. We will continue to act as the weak nation we are ....just ahead of Guinea Bissau and Burkina Faso
8. Twenty three new development projects will be inaugurated for the up-liftment of the poor
9. These development projects will be named after everyone in the Gandhi family....including the still un born children of Rahul Baba
10. No development will still be achieved.....
11. Scams....why am I talking about it.....they will happen...after all that's one thing our adorable politicians are good at....

BJP + Allies:

The second alternative we would have.....yes, Bharatia Janata Party and its bunch of allies...Lets see what will happen if this scenario becomes a reality

1. Boooooooom!!!! You heard it...you will get to hear the largest bang possible...........Yes..India would do a Pokran III...
2. Newspapers headlines will be full of bravado......
3. Followed quickly by Pakistan......Status Quo will be maintained after Pakistan does its own nuclear bomb test.....
4. India might...just might get into a fire fight with Pakistan terrorists....
5. Terrorists will hit back with a vengeance...and more common people will die even as our adorable politicians garner Z+2-1*3 security for themselves
6. Infrastructure projects already approved by the previous incumbent government will be renamed as Chatrapati Shivaji/ Veer Savarkar XYZ development projects
7. Even after renaming no development will be achieved
8. Witch hunting....oh!! the favorite sport of our adorable politicians will be played with a vengeance ...every Congress  and its allies politician will be proved to be embroiled in some scam or the other
9. No congress or its allies politician will still go to jail.
10. Scams....why am I talking about it.....they will happen...after all that's one thing our adorable politicians are good at....

Third Front = All Allies:

Hmm!!! Seems unlikely....but "yeh India hai...yahan par sab kuch ho saktha hai".....They are actually the essence of India....."JUGAAD"...You heard it....its a quintessential example of JUGAAD.....A rag a tag collection of parties coming together....to form a government.....Lets see what will happen if such a reality does dawn upon us......

1. There will be 29 parties in the coalition government and 32 contenders for just the post of the PM
2. There will be at the least 64 Cabinet Minister and 128 Ministers of State (see the exponential rise)
3. There will be another 256 ministers...without any portfolio...but never the less ministers
4. There will be 8 Prime Ministers within the span of 5 years...i.e if they pull it that long
5. Terrorists will have a gala of a time.....because our defense forces will be out of bullets....as the ministry of defense and ministry of commerce will be fighting over in whose constituency the ordinance factory should be opened
6. Each time a deadly terrorist attack  would occur...there will be finger pointing between Ministry of Rural Development and Ministry of Tribal Affairs....both the ministers belonging to different parties....
7. Government will forget to point fingers to the terrorists with all the internal squabbling 
8. The 256 ministers without portfolio will be in permanent world trips....learning about ways to reduce flatulence/increase gobar gas capacity/exotic locations for new Bollywood movies.....
9. The Jugadus will announce 175 new populist development projects
10. These deveopment projects will be named after neutrals and some unknown political entities like Seth Chunna Mal/Lovely Singh/Seth Koyla Mal
11. No development will still occur
12. Scams....why am I talking about it.....they will happen...after all that's one thing our adorable politicians are good at....or its allies  politician ...however will be prosecuted

Man...I know...all of you are probably gonna think...I am pessimist...I mean I did not write a single word of appreciation for any of the political parties.....I lampooned all of them.....h ah ah ha ha ha

Nonetheless this is the current scenario of our politics.....

PS: If I get arrested by the government after writing this...please get in touch with Anna Hazare...so that an agitation movement can be launched to grant me freedom ;-)