Embarrassment & Stuck Zipper

Wifey gone on business trip to US and the initial euphoria of returned bachelorhood gone...life is pretty drab these days....except for one interesting thing which happened recently.

I live in a noveu rich locality with several gated society buildings all around. Somewhere very near to this place is a building which acts as hostel for foreign exchange students mostly from sub -saharan Africa or south east Asia occasionally a Brit or American can be seen also....

There is one department store near our place and everyone comes over here for purchasing daily needs. I being a lazy dumb ass, walked into  the department store in my shorts and Tee one fine Sunday morning to get a pack of mother cow's juices.....

Normally, I care a damn for low fat/skimmed/toned/double toned/quadra zillion million toned milk.....seriously its too damn confusing....for me as long as its white and liquid...its milk.

I picked on a carton of milk and was just coming out of the aisle when I nearly collided with a rather well-dressed, well endowed, tall, slim British-ish woman in a comely lavender dress.

Comprehensive eye make-up was spotted. I am no expert, but I think it was a one-shoulder floor-length dress with a slanted empire waist. Classy indeed.

Unfortunately my milk carton had fallen down and the British-ish lady picked it up for me. “There you go,” she said, handing over the milk carton.

I barely managed a Thank U.........I was using small words because I was holding my stomach in.

She turned around and was about to walk away, when she turned back and said if I could help for a second.

“O… K…” I said struggling due to lack of oxygen.

I am not making the rest up.

“Can you zip me up please. I think it is stuck.” She looked tremendously embarassed

But my embarrassment was making her embarrassment look like an amateurish embarrassment who practised being embarrassed only for occasional office embarrassment tournaments.

I noticed, the offending zipper was a tiny one stuck halfway between her waist and her under-arm, leaving a few inches of her dress open on the side.

I sheepishly pulled up the zipper a couple of times. Nothing happened. And then I held the dress and she pulled the zipper.

Nothing.

Then I pulled down on the zipper in order to do the old “rezip with momentum” trick. Which is when I realised that the zipper went all the way down.

At this point of time my embarrassment would have probably made George Bush Jr.'s embarrassment at not finding WMD with Saddam look puny....

kept at it for another 5 mins. The bloody thing would run smoothly to a apoint and then simply get stuck.

Eventually we realized that our relationship was going nowhere.

"Maybe I should go find a woman to help me…” she said, opening a whole new can of mental worms.

“I am sorry I am so bad at this…” I said.

And then we parted on amicable terms. I turned around and ran out of the store clutching my milk carton and gasping for air.

Moral of the Story -  Should have been a little thinner so that I could hold my breath for some more time :)