A Father's Obituary For A Daughter

Life has a way of passing by silently leaving you open mouthed and speechless sometimes. I have been away from my blog for quite some time now because of something similar in my life. 

The year 2013 began on a happy and expectant note for the both of us. Vidisha and I were expecting our first child and we were a bundle of nerves. I had sent away Vidisha to Kanpur so that she would be taken care off at my in-laws place. After all the first pregnancy of a woman is a time when she needs the utmost care and what better place to be taken care off and pampered than in your own home.

They say, a man learns about parenthood when he holds his first child in his arms while a woman learns about motherhood when the child kicks for the first time in her womb. Vidisha gave birth to a baby girl on 6th March 2013. I had missed the birth of my child because I was stuck in Chennai with office work. However, I booked my flight ticket and landed in Kanpur a day later on the 7th of March. I could not take my eyes off my little bundle of joy. She was so pretty. So tiny. So cute. So very special.

Vidisha was very tired but both of us could not help smiling and crying at the same time as we saw our first born sleeping there peacefully. I was the happiest MAN on the planet then and I am sure Vidisha was the happiest WOMAN.

We named her ‘Mayra’ which meant loved by everyone and gave her the nick name ‘Sia’. We were weaving dreams around our child and were looking forward to bringing her to Chennai in a couple of month’s time. I had planned to paint the spare bedroom pink for her. Buy tons and tons of toys for her. Leave office early everyday just to watch little Mayra sleep. I wanted to watch her crawl, standup, stumble and walk in front of my eyes.

But alas, life has its own strange way of playing cruel games with us, of shattering our dreams and leaving us disillusioned with our own life. I had taken a flight from Lucknow to Chennai early morning at 5:00 AM on 13th March. I had hugged my child lightly and my wife tightly. I had taken care not to wake little Mayra before I bid adieu to her. It was the most difficult goodbye of my life. I simply did not want to leave sight of Mayra.

I landed in Chennai at 3:00 PM and turned on my phone after getting off the flight. I was stunned and could not believe the words which were being spoken to me by Ashok uncle. "Mayra is no more" How could that be possible? She was hale and hearty in the morning barely 10 hours ago. But it was the truth. The bitter truth. The wail that escaped Vidisha when I spoke with her a minute later was heart rending. Her tears of anguish, that afternoon, is something which will haunt me forever the rest of my life.

Mayra had breathing problems earlier that afternoon and by the time she was rushed to the hospital it was all over.

Vidisha came back to be with me almost immediately after this unfortunate event. Her tears every night burned my cheeks. I could not cry like her for I had to remain strong for the sake of both of us. I used to wait for Vidisha to cry herself to sleep every night before I could allow the luxury of silent tears to myself.

Life has lost its sheen for us. Our dreams have been shattered. However life must go on. We have picked up whatever remains of our shattered life and decided to place our belief on the adage, "Whatever happens, happens for the best."

It is nearing 3 months now since she left us. I could not summon myself to write about her up until now. However I have realized that life is like a book which has a new story to tell when we turn over the page.

We miss you....We really miss you Mayra....

 Dear God,

Please take care of our little girl,

The one with big eyes and soft curls.

She was special, as you should know,

We really didn't want to let her go but we had to....

R.I.P Mayra Misra

March 6, 2013 - March 13, 2013

We hold you close within our hearts,

and there you will remain,

to walk with us throughout our lives

until we meet again...